I Will Never Leave You (2024)

when your girlfriend is so toxic she comes back from the dead to haunt you

read this in one sitting and haven’t thought about anything else since I’m obsessed

I AM UNSTABLE PLEASE READ THIS

2024 reads: 204/250

i received an advanced review copy from the publisher via netgalley in exchange for an honest review. this did not affect my rating.

content warnings: emotional abuse, anxiety, panic attacks, past death of parent

after four years of dating alana, and with high school graduation around the corner, maya is scared to consider the idea of life outside her toxic relationship. finally, she finds the courage to break up with alana on a hiking trip. but while maya comes back from the trip, alana doesn’t…now, alana’s ghost is haunting maya, pressuring her into helping her possess someone, or else maya will go down for alana’s death.

when i first read the description of this book, i was immediately hooked. i’m so grateful i got a chance to read and review this book early, and it’s not one i’ll soon forget. i really felt for maya. she’s centered her life around alana these past years, even cutting some people off because alana told her they were bad for her. and of course, maya wanted to be done with alana, but she didn’t want her dead. even in death, though, alana manipulates and abuses maya. i appreciated how this subject was handled with care and how maya grew into her own person throughout the story.

A love song to healing, vibrant with rage and recovery.
Alana - a perfect ghost of that person always in our ear. Tearing us down. Voicing our self hate.
Maya - isolated, desperate for freedom, a reconnection to her self; the painfulness, brutal truth of recovery and discovering your strength and survival
Just so beautifully done.

Wow! Unexpected 5 stars! This book consumed me for two days! I cannot believe this is Kennedy’s debut.

The story is gripping and psychologically frightening. I love how Kennedy portrays hauntings, not just in the metaphysical form but also through grief, trauma, and memories. However, the story isn't all dark; she also sheds light on positive ways to help someone cope with panic and anxiety episodes (yay Rowan!), examples of healthy relationships, and the transformative power of healing.

Highlights: ✨toxic relationships ✨dark academia ✨emotional abuse ✨ghost story ✨possession ✨mental health rep ✨sapphic romance

I paired the audio with the physical. Brittany Pressley delivers a fantastic narration, breathing life into Maya's anxiety, panic, worry, and second-guessing while also portraying Alana as a toxic, condescending ex-girlfriend who haunts Maya. Even while reading the physical, I heard Brittany’s voices in my head! If you love audiobooks, I highly recommend this one. But honestly, both formats fall in the “love” category for me!

a teen girl being haunted by the ghost of her toxic ex-girlfriend, who gives her a chilling ultimatum—help her possess another girl or go down for her murder.

My pet peeve is when mystery novels' resolutions do not fit the clues sprinkled through their narratives. This book is guilty of this, on top of having such a dull middle part. But it's ultimately beautifully written and tells a compelling story.

The details that pissed me off:

It was obvious Elise was the culprit, considering Alana's phone pinged at her place last, but:
1) How did she get Alana's phone after pushing her to her death in the water?
2) If Elise was staying at her aunt's near Antelope Valley, why did the phone ping at her house where her little sister was having a party?
Honestly frustrating.

I read this in one sitting so I can start by saying that I really enjoyed this one! It's a quick read and I couldn't put it down.

That said, this is probably sitting at a 3.5 stars for me: the plot gripped me more than the characters did (I thought Maya's character was well written and a great example of an imperfect victim, but the dialogue and other characters were a bit two dimensional) but the pacing didn't lull and that's where the writing really paid off. The ending didn't feel totally wrapped up to me, but the pacing was so clean that it didn't feel lacking until I started to write this review.

Worth saying: there is a lot of emotional abuse. For those who have had toxic friendships or relationships, please be aware of this going into the book. Alana is pretty much textbook emotional abuse and with no redeeming qualities and is horrible to Maya throughout - just when you think it can't get worse, it does. I'm not sure how to word this, but if the relationship was a bit less black and white and Alana was portrayed to have a few redeeming qualities, I'm not sure I'd have been able to handle it as it'd have been a bit too close to a few relationships/friendships I've been in. The story was about breaking free from an emotionally abusive relationship and, especially for a YA audience, does exactly what it set out to do.

2024 seems to be the year of sapphic YA stories and this is another one that I'd recommend!

Thank you to NetGalley and Random House Children's/Delacorte Press for the ARC.

hello hello! i'm so thrilled that review copies of I WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU are going out into the world, but that means it's also time for me to flee goodreads under the cover of night. my parting words:

content warnings for IWNLY: emotional abuse, anxiety, on-page panic attacks, death of a parent (off-page, in the past)

i truly hope that you enjoy reading maya, alana, and rowan's story. while this story deals with some tough topics, it's also a lot of fun (at least, i hope!) and writing it got me through some incredibly difficult times. if you're able to find a bit of yourself in maya's journey, i hope the story serves as a reminder that you are not alone.

salt your doorways!
<3 kara

Thank you to netgalley and Delacorte Press for a digital arc in exchange for an honest review!

I absolutely loved I Will Never Leave You. Kara A. Kennedy comes out swinging in her debut novel, which is a ya ghost story thriller. I finished the book within two days because I could not put it down and, to be honest, I probably would have finished it sooner if I hadn't had plans during the day.

Kennedy has a gorgeous command of language—the prose itself is stunning, vivid, and lush. Every description of the setting felt like a mini-love letter to Southern California. I also felt like all the characters, especially our main character Maya, were so realistic. Maya's character, after all she went through, was messy and stress-inducing in the best way. I love when authors are able to interweave different mediums into their novel (i.e., podcasts, news reports, ect) and I Will Never Leave You did just that. Those moments of pulling the audience back into the bigger picture did a fantastic job of upping the stakes and keeping the pressure on.

And then there was the plot itself. I was racing to finish the novel the whole time and kept telling myself, "one more chapter and then it's time for bed." During the climax, I could feel my own anxiety spiking as well. Kennedy did a great job of laying out the groundwork as well—while the twists and turns were shocking, they weren't out of the blue, but worked with the little hints we got down the road. I also adored the weaving of trauma and healing into a ghost story and thought it was beautifully done.

Personally, I don't love when novels have modern references but with Maya, Alana, and most of the other characters being seniors in high school, I found I didn't mind it as much. But, this was a minor preference of mine that didn't actually detract from the plot.

This is a stunning debut from Kennedy and I look forward to reading her future work!

Thank you to NetGalley and the publishers for this ARC in exchange for my honest review!!

“When someone loves you, they don’t hurt you on purpose.”

This book hit me in a way that was both frustrating and eye opening. Maya made me so mad at certain points when she was going along with Alana but it honestly just shows how manipulative Alana was. Your toxic/abusive ex coming back as a ghost to haunt you after you just broke up with them sounds like a nightmare.

Honestly Jazmine was my favorite character. She was such a good big sister. Maya’s dad seemed kind of absent but he also seemed to really care about and love Maya. Rowan and her mom were awesome and I’m glad that Maya had them as well.

The twist at the end I didn’t see coming and I’m really glad this book highlights how bad codependent relationships are. Maya didn’t want to hang out with or do anything with anyone but Alana. Alana successfully isolated all her friends and family and put herself as the only person in Maya’s life and it was terrifying to see. I really enjoyed this book and Maya’s character development and strength is admirable.

Haunting, sad and emotional. “I Will Never Leave You” is a promise between friends to lovers, Maya and Alana. “I Will Never Leave You” becomes a curse when Alana dies and appears to Maya in ghost form. Maya feels guilty because she met Alana in one of their favorite places, broke up with her and left her there without a ride home on what became the day Alana died. Now Alana starts haunting Maya and she’s a vengeful spirit. Alana was Maya’s only friend because Alana wanted it that way. An emotionally manipulative and controlling partner led to struggles with anxiety and depression for Maya. She needs to find strength before Alana finishes her plans of possession of new friend, Rowan. I Will Never Leave You by Kara A. Kennedy becomes a battle cry for independence. ARC was provided by Delacorte Press via NetGalley. I received an advance review copy and I am leaving this review voluntarily.

I was provided an ARC via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

Maya can see ghosts but that's a detail. Maya's entire life has been about Alana, her girlfriend and before that her best friend. But she breaks up with her and leaves her on a hiking trail. But then Alana disappears. And Maya's entire life is turned upside down. What if perfect, sweet Alana wasn't as great as everyone makes her out to be??

This was incredible and enraging and amazing. I loved every single second of this, even the breaks I had to take cause it made me so mad. I really lived it all from the very first line to the last one. It kept me on the edge of my seat the entire time and I could not stop reading. I honestly loved everything about this and I don't want to say too much but y'all should read it.
An amazing book all over. Kara A. Kennedy is one more author that I'll have to keep an eye on!

This was underwhelming. It’s not unenjoyable, but the characters are all very one-dimensional, the rules around the paranormal are inconsistent, and I just didn’t really care about the seemingly emotional story being told. I think teen readers will read this and like it well enough, but it just wasn't for me.

Emotional, genius, and absolutely unfortgettable. I will NEVER recover from this.

I'm in tears. this was so beautiful and brilliant it's definitely going to stay with me for a long time

Do yourself a favor and read this book the VERY FIRST MOMENT you can. There is no writing that's quite as evocative and raw and immersive as Kara's. Maya's story is thrilling from page one and had me looking for ghosts over my shoulder for WEEKS afterward. It is a haunting tribute to the bravery required to heal. I haven't been the same since reading this. It will never leave me.

An absolute masterpiece that left me sobbing on the bottom of my bed. Do yourself a favor and add this incredible book to your upcoming TBR list!!

Sometimes all it takes to make the ordinary into something tragic and story-worthy are a few little facts that aren’t visible to the naked eye. In Kara A. Kennedy’s debut YA novel, we’re ushered into the middle of a relationship teetering on the edge of what could be an explosive breakup. Introducing the main character in such a way that she is obviously on the brink of something life changing makes for a strong beginning, giving readers something that grabs their attention from the first few pages.

You might not be aware of it, but chances are, you know a couple like Maya and Alana. Friends for a lifetime who started dating once they realized they were fated for each other. A pair whose lives are so meshed together, they can’t see the situation they’re in because it’s not even on their radar. Though they’re just seniors in high school, Maya is realizing that the one person who she thought she’d love forever is toxic. Her family and friends that know her and see her day to day life have told her how they feel, and though Maya’s heart is pounding, she can’t turn back now.

Their breakup was going to be legendary in their small town anyway, but when Maya doesn’t hear from Alana several hours after she abandoned her in a very public area by walking away from yet another verbal lashing she knew would be coming, she gets worried something happened to her. Despite knowing it’s the best choice for the future and trying to let her go, Maya begins frantically trying to track her girlfriend down. Soon everyone will know that she was the last person to see Alana alive and Maya is terrified someone overheard their slightly emotionally escalated conversation on the hiking trail she confronted her on.

Maya definitely doesn’t seem like the type of person to do something rash and permanent like making Alana disappear forever, but then we all know how thrilling it can be to have an unreliable narrator, and just because Maya is portrayed as a good girl who is still in love with the person she just tried to break up with doesn’t mean it’s the whole truth. The addition of the fact that Alana is appearing as a ghost at the most inconvenient times is a detail that Maya is aware means something important, but she’s not willing to believe the story Alana is giving her about her fate is true. After all, she’s never known if ghosts are actually real, she just knows sometimes she sees them. Soon, everyone in her small town will be gossiping and spreading misinformation, so Maya decides it’s a good time to reconnect with the sister she cut ties with when Alana accused her of relying on her too much after the death of their mother. Little does she know that what she considers a small decision that might take her mind off things for a while will be seen as suspect when Alana’s body is found not far from where Maya left her the day of the breakup…

I’m always on the lookout for exciting new YA reads and I Will Never Leave You is a book that grabbed my attention right away and held it until the very last page. I hope you, too, will find this to be an entertaining read that is a bit eye-opening to what a toxic relationship can look like from both an insider and outsider perspective.

I'm going to start with a necessary disclosure - I know the author of this book, and while we haven't been in close contact for some time, we do share a professional and personal connection, and still talk from time to time. We worked together at a challenging job, and ten years prior to that, we both attended the same university (unknowingly, at the time!). Given this personal connection, it's natural that my review may be influenced by my affection for the author.
With that said, I'm thrilled to recommend this stunning novel. Despite any potential biases, I truly believe that it's an amazing story that deserves to be read.
A lot of this book left me breathless. My heart cried out for the protagonist, Maya, for Kennedy, and for myself, who knows to well the toll emotional abuse can take on you. While this kind of thing has been getting more attention, it’s still an unfortunate truth that many men and women are being abused in ways that are not visible. And while there may not be physical scars bearing that proof, the demand it takes on your body is just the same. Not to mention to isolation, the fear, the doubt - wondering if it’s in your head, and if you’re betraying the person you love most by even having these thoughts.
One of the things that struck me most about this book is the way it handles mental health issues. Maya's struggles with anxiety disorder are woven throughout the narrative, and I found it incredibly relatable. The author's portrayal of anxiety is so accurate and raw, and Kennedy's descriptions of panic attacks are particularly poignant.
As someone who has lived with anxiety since my teenage years, I was blown away by the accuracy of the depiction. It's not often that you see mental health struggles represented in a way that feels authentic and honest. The author's ability to capture the intensity and overwhelming nature of panic attacks is remarkable, and I found myself nodding along in recognition as I read.
The fact that Maya also struggles with an anxiety disorder adds another layer of complexity to her character, and I think it's a testament to the author's skill that she can tackle such a sensitive topic in a way that feels both personal and universal.
I Will Never Leave You is a heavy read, but still one that you can devour quickly. I found it very difficult to put down, and I thought about it a lot when I wasn’t physically reading it. If you’re looking for a ghost story, a sapphic love story, a coming of age story, or even a love letter to Southern California, I suggest you pick it up!

Maya has a choice to make that could change her life forever.

Maya Rosier, an 18-year-old girl, has been with her girlfriend, Alana Murray, since they were little. However, their relationship is not perfect as Maya starts to realize that Alana's behavior is causing harm. Before their high school graduation, Maya decides to end their relationship and leaves Alana in Antelope Valley, where they had been hiking together moments earlier. Shortly after, Alana goes missing, and Maya soon discovers that she has died when Alana's spirit appears to her. Alana still wishes to be with Maya and asks for her help in possessing a recent friend of Maya's, Rowan. Maya must find a way to banish Alana's spirit before anyone else gets hurt.

This is the second YA horror fiction book I have read, and it became one of my favorite books of all time. I absolutely adored this author's writing style, and all of the elements, even the difficult ones, made this book unique. I also found the following quote inspiring: "When someone loves you, they don't hurt you on purpose. If you think you need them like flames need oxygen, gasping, drowning, I want to tell you that you are wrong. You survive on your own. Nobody else props you up, and nobody else can take credit for your triumph. You are the phoenix. Fire is always fire. It destroys, it obliterates. But you can always rise again."

Maya is a very relatable and human protagonist. I found myself rooting for her as she grappled with her problems with her anxiety disorder and many other issues. Alana was two-faced but a complex character. Rowan's quirkiness was endearing, and her unwavering support for Maya was truly admirable.

This book is perfect for horror fiction enthusiasts who appreciate compelling and relatable themes.

Happy Publication Day & Happy Reading, Paige ❤️ 📚

Thank you, @netgalley @delacortepress , for the complimentary ARC. I am leaving this review voluntarily.

I Will Never Leave You is about the relationships that continue to haunt us, sometimes it involves a toxic ex-girlfriend; sometimes troubled family dynamic; sometimes, it's the mental wars that were waged and lost against ourselves. Of course, there's also literal haunting going on.

Kennedy handled these topics with deftness and grace. Her writing just simply flowed so beautifully, coupled with a charged pacing from the get-go -- I was flying through the book. Even though Maya (1) frustrated me too much (might or might not skim through parts of the book because of this... ugh) (2) wasn't my favourite (Rowan, hello!!), her character growth was admittedly compelling. It was absolutely carthatic watching her transform and come to terms with the things that she'd been through. Being our sole narrator, it's fair that everything was centered around her development, but I still found myself craving more dimensions from our supporting cast -- Rowan (a little too MPDG for me), Maya's dad (unhelpfully sarcastic) and sister (doing her best, which, fair), even Alana (please give me something more than Blatantly Evil, my girls Heather and RG would not fail me like this🫣). It's entirely a personal peeve though, one that most readers would have no problem ignoring. I don't have much to comment about the supernatural aspect of the book; for me, it was but a narrative convenience, and it did its job at the end of the day.

My rating may reflect my personal opinion, but clearly, this book has touched so many others. Objectively speaking, it's a brilliant spin on the unravelling of a toxic teenage relationship, with a (sort-of) murder mystery and supernatural aspects to boot. (AND IT'S A DEBUT???). I can promise you a thrilling ride if that synopsis sounds like your thing.

Thanks to Netgalley and Delacorte Press for the E-ARC!

𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐈𝐅 𝐘𝐎𝐔
💔 have ever been in an emotionally abusive relationship
🥀 enjoy sapphic reads
🚘 ever left someone stranded
👻 can see and communicate with ghosts

• 𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐈𝐓’𝐒 𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐓

Maya has always belonged to Alana. After four years of dating, and on the precipice of graduating high school, Maya has been too terrified to consider the idea of life outside of their volatile relationship. Until she finds the courage to break up with Alana while they’re hiking in Southern California.

Then Alana goes missing. As the police get involved and the media run wild with the story, everyone seems to think that Maya is lying about Alana’s disappearance. Secretly, Maya knows they’re right: if Alana’s dead, she’s the one to blame.

But that’s not Maya’s only secret. Alana isn’t gone, not really—and she isn’t going to let Maya go so easily…

• 𝐌𝐘 𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐒

This was such a cool read. The ghost aspect really pulled me in, but I totally understood how Maya felt being in an emotionally abusive relationship. I have been in one as well, and it is so draining. Maya got to her breaking point and decided to end things, not knowing that Alana wouldn’t come home safely. I loved the entire storyline. Even from the other side, Alana shows how cruel and controlling she can be. It just kept getting worse and worse. I highly recommend this one!

Thank you to Random House Children's, Delacorte Press, and NetGalley for allowing me to read this book in exchange for a review!
First off, I truly appreciated the depiction of the toxic relationship in here; just as guilt does not pause after death, just as trauma does not stop, the ghost of a toxic, manipulative ex won't cease after death. Except here, it's not metaphorical.

Maya can see ghosts-- but she can't see her mother. Alana died after an argument between the two of them, and she'll hold that over Maya's head, frame her for her death, and threaten her, unless Maya enables her to possess someone. And then they'll be together. Forever.

Though Maya's timelines, we see the pre-Alana, the peri-Alana, and the post-Alana death, showing the impacts Alana had on isolating Maya from everyone, family and friends alike. Alana is not treated wholly unsympathetically; like Maya, she's a teenage girl herself, with a life of her own. Still, her choices are her own, and the narrative can allow others to see how all were impacted. by the choices of others.
Too, something I loved, was how much Maya's family supported her, and continued to support her.

Wow, Kara Kennedy! What a fantastic debut! I can't recall how this book got on my radar, but I'm so glad to have received an ARC from NetGalley and the publisher.

This YA novel was right up my alley. It has everything: emotional abuse, trauma, a dead mom, ghosts, new friendships, and healing. I was frustrated with Maya, our protagonist, at times, but it was typical YA stuff (emotional immaturity, cringing at her behavior).

The writing is often beautiful here, in a way that adds to the novel rather than being overwritten and distracting. The relationship between Maya and Alana was very well done--it felt real and vibrant. I loved the way we went backwards and forwards in time. It wasn't heavy handed or predictable.

At times, some aspects didn't make sense. Like why could Rowan see Alana later on when she hadn't been able to see ghosts before? But the logistics don't matter as much as the story, here. It's an excellent story about healing and finally being able to know and be yourself with your whole heart, facing the future unafraid and in control.

What a fantastic read. I couldn't put it down. Ghost story but with the tension and development of a true crime novel. It's impossible to stop turning the pages. Very well-written, the author keeps us interested even when she gives us flashbacks cutting to the past or gives interludes, social media comments, etc. Everything referring to the past doesn't feel like an interruption but a way for us to learn more about these two girls.

Also, the paranormal bits are very well done.

There is something in the author's writing that doesn't let us completely trust who is telling the truth because the main character has no problem lying, so we keep thinking about that plot twist at the end that will change all.

Loved it. Will be reading more that this author writes in the future.

The kind of book that will haunt you long after reading it. Tightly paced, eerily atmospheric, and SAPPHIC. I WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU is a hair-raising exploration of female friendships, toxic relationships, and the frightening fanaticism surrounding true crime. I love how Kennedy dives into how the media flocks to cases regarding young, white, wealthy women as compared to other cases. With beautiful prose and a taught and twisty plot, I FLEW through this book.

Thank you to the publisher for the ARC!

If I could give this more stars I would. This book was an emotional tense anxiety filled journey full of mystery and discovery. It’s real life deep dive into relationships between girls was so on point. This is a book I will come back to read again. Def put this at the top of your to read list. Pre order it.

It was a beautiful way of telling a story of grief and escaping toxic (mentally abusive) relationship cycle. I connected to Maya's story in so many ways and I love her voice in leading the story. The plot, the writing, and everything is just chef kiss. This book was brutal and heart wrenching, but also soothing and heartwarming and it came into full circle. Beautiful!